Ah, love.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about love lately and how it fits into human nature. What is love really and what gives humans the capacity for it in a way that other animals don't have? These are huge questions that will probably take me a lifetime to answer. We haven't really touched on the subject too much in class, probably because many of us don't have too much experience with it. But I think it's worth mentioning even if we don't have any experience with love at all. Here, I'm talking about the romantic kind of love, the Nicholas Sparks kind. Most of us have at least loved vicariously through books or movies and probably have some idea of what love is or at least should be. Those of us who have experience with love have probably found (at least I know I have) that love is really not too much like the books and the movies and is probably a lot different from what we thought it should be when we were little.

The most basic question is, of course, what is love? An 8 year old would probably tell you it's getting butterflies and chasing someone around the playground, a teenager would tell you it's about not being able to function without the other person, and an adult may say that it's a commitment that you make to a person everyday no matter how much you might like them. I would tell you that love is when you care for someone so much that you want them to be happy even if that happiness doesn't have a single thing to do with you, even if it means losing the person. What I know of love is brief and I've got miles to go before I sleep on the subject, but I can say that I believe it is the most unselfish, difficult, and impossibly possible act in the world. It's paradoxically loving yourself enough to allow someone to love you back while being willing to, at a moments notice, sacrifice yourself completely for someone else. I think love is a zillion miles past falling in love with someone. It has nothing whatsoever to do with jealousy or rules. It's everyday and it's not easy, but it's worth it. It hurts just as much as it makes us happy. It's extensively flawed and fragile, but it's sort of all we have. Can it last forever? I cannot even begin to answer this question. I certainly hope that it can, but I don't think that is something that we can ever know. I hope that there is that one person out there that we're supposed to be with, but who knows? I think it's more likely that every person we're with is who we're supposed to be with, for whatever amount of time we're lucky (or unlucky) enough to spend with them. This goes along, of course, with destiny, a subject that I won't get into here...

How does love fit into the theories of human nature that we have studied this semester? We have certainly determined that people are social creatures who somehow always come up with some kind of hierarchical structure to live by. Perhaps love is just a result of those two elements of human nature. We desire to relate to someone so we pick someone to make extra special to us and say that we love them. To scientists, love is just an insane dopamine level. For whatever reason, humans are able to love and feel compassion in ways that no other beings can. Perhaps this is what has allowed us to advance in ways that other species have been unable to do. If there is a universal human nature, maybe it is that we all have the capacity and desire for love. I hate to bring him up yet again, but even Hitler had a wife.

There are a million more questions that I have about love in all of its various forms. But here, I'll ask you just one: How do you think love fits into destiny in relation to soul mates and what exactly does that kind of love entail?


And as a last thought, because I cited him above, here's a quote:
"But now, alone in my house, I have come to realize that destiny can hurt a person as much as it can bless him, and I find myself wondering why - out of all the people in all the world I could ever have loved - I had to fall in love with someone who was taken away from me."
~Nicholas Sparks, Message In A Bottle

Response to "Human Nature."

Tyson asked the question: Can all human beings be classified by some sort of universal human nature, or is the idea of one inaccurate to some?

At the beginning of this class I thought that I had a good idea of my views on human nature, or at least a basic foundation. I have never been more wrong about anything. I was guilty of trying to group humanity together and slap a label on who we really are. The truth is, human nature isn't some pretty bow that we can tie around everyone. There will always be some people who do not fit into even the most basic idea of human nature. I left myself out of my own theory of human nature when I said that everyone in inherently selfish. That isn't how I see myself. In all honesty, I probably only see other people that way so that I'm less disappointed when people act selfishly. Why do we continue to try and figure out a universal human nature when we've all taken a class and discovered that we all see human nature differently. The fact that we all have different opinions on our nature is evidence in itself that we cannot all be the same. I think the only thing that we can say about human nature is that people are fallible and do things to avoid that fallibility in whatever ways they see fit.


My question: What do you think about this quote from The Great Gatsby: "Everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known." Do you agree or disagree? Why?

Response to "The Art of War."

In Josh's blog he asked the question, "Why should we prepare for war in peace and prepare for peace in times of war?"

I think what Sun Tzu meant by this is that people should be prepared for anything. We have to remember that this was written in a time of constant struggle for power and territory. If a country was not prepared for anything and everything to happen they could be easily defeated. I think it's important for us to prepare for peace in times of war because we often put aside our ability for compassion and unity in times of war. We have to, or we'd never be able to fight anyone. If there is any hope for a resolution in war we have to make gradual steps toward peace. We should prepare for war in peace if for no other reason than to protect ourselves from the inevitable. Wars happen, we might as well be ready. A person who believes that we can reach true peace would disagree with Sun Tzu saying that we must be preparing for war in peace. Is there really a need to be continually preparing for war in a world in which we no longer continually struggle (at least not violently) for territory or hegemony? Most people would probably agree that a country must be able to defend itself, but some would say that the country should not be continually readying itself for war.

My question is: do you think there will ever be a world in which war does not exist?

Response to "Rambling"

This blog is in response to Jillian's question: Its difficult sometimes for me to truly grasp the infinitude of time and space. When thinking about space, I always raise the question, "well, whats beyond that?" My question for you is, How do you deal with or comprehend the infinitude of both time and space? Do you ever think about it?

I think more about time being infinite than I do about space being infinite. I suppose that's because I know that space is probably infinite and doesn't really effect me personally, but I know that my time is not infinite. I find it equally difficult to think of being "alive" or lasting forever and not lasting forever. I think it's extremely different for humans to think of a time when we will no longer exist. It's hard enough to picture our lives in fifty years, let alone forever. I happen to believe that there is something beyond this life, but it seems like there must even be something beyond that. In a life in which everything ends and is constantly changing, it seems impossible to grasp the idea of forever. Trying to imagine things not going on forever seems strange too. Imagining not imagining is almost impossible.

For those of you who don't believe in a afterlife, how do you comprehend the infinitude of time?

Exceptions

When I wrote my Q&A on my view of human nature I wrote about how I view people as being inherently selfish beings who only seek to do good if it is beneficial to them or makes them feel good about themselves in some way. The same day that I wrote the Q&A I was in the shower when I heard someone getting violently sick in one of the stalls next to me (it was the middle of the day, so I highly doubt that the girl was drunk.) I should tell you here that I have a pretty extreme fear of getting sick and usually avoid sick people at all costs. However, at that moment I seriously considered getting out of the shower and going to help the girl. Why would I do this? There would have been no reward for me to help her. In fact, I probably would have gotten sick. For whatever reason, I found myself feeling strongly that I should help the girl out. I should also mention that I don't exactly care for most of the girls on my floor. I think what Professor Johnson said in class now holds some weight for me: people just have some natural inclination to help each other out.

Have you ever wanted to help someone even if the consequences could be negative for you?

Response to Kelsey's Question

Kelsey asked, "Do you think that there parts of us that never change or is who we are constantly in flux?"

I think that it all depends on certain aspects of your life. There are small personality traits that seem to never change, but that is probably because they are so small that those traits aren't effected by most of the things in life. There are a lot of aspects that make up who we are that do change depending on what happens to us in life, if we realize it or not. We never notice those changes until we look back and can't believe how different we were a few years ago. When we're young there are so many things that change who we are, simply because we are young. That's not saying that older people aren't changed by the things that happen to them, but they are usually more confident in who they are and where they want their life to go. I think it's important to allow elements of our personality to change. The truth is, you're probably going to change in some way whether you like it or not. Fighting every single change to who we are would be a waste of energy. There are some things, however, that I think are important to fight for such as your moral standards. Being human and therefore imperfect, it's often difficult to hold to what we think is right. I don't think that who we are is constantly in flux but I also don't think that we never change. Everything changes because it has to.

My question is: What do you think Darwin would say on this issue?

Expelled

I also recommend that everyone watch this, especially if you aren't religious. It's a good representation of the other side, not just bigots spouting unintelligent theology.